Xena-philes

"Write about Xena," was the suggestion. "Xena?" I shrugged, not aware of what lay beyond the allure of Lucy Lawless' nearly six foot frame. I've watched the show, laughed at the latent lesbo weirdness, but never gave it more than a passing thought.

One friend of mine, one of those guys who always falls for lesbians, proudly informed me that Xena was the country's highest rated syndicated show. He had been hip to it before anyone, "you'd get a kick out of it," he promised, "she's cute." Weeks later I realized he was onto something when an article appeared in the Village Voice about New York's bar Meow Mix and their infamous "Xena Parties."

"So what's with the show?" I asked him, figuring I could trust his perspective having watched him fall for enough gay girls (myself included) in our friendship. But I still wasn't satisfied in his statistics and sensitive new age guy peek into female bonding. "It's a very empowering show for girls," he said sounding like someone's dad. I looked at his girlfriend and she gave me that "whatever" look.

So I went home to ask my roommate, he'd know. The poor guy plays the Felix to my Oscar, and OUR show gets weirder each season. He was having one of those Morrissey hair days and torturing me with Madonna.

"Is it her outfit?" I screamed above the sagging beats of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina," Lawless does look pretty hot in that team captain, Wonder Woman way, and there's definitely a "we're so married" vibe between she and her blonde assistant. And yeah, it IS pretty cool that us girls get to finally beat the crap out of those Chippendale lunks, but my roommate reminded me of what it was really about.

"It's like something out of Penthouse," he said. "Xena's the dominatrix in the bondage gear, and she's got that submissive blonde she's gotta keep in line..." I looked at him in shock, and he must have noticed my horror as he returned to normal. "Oh, sorry...I guess all that hetero-socializing finally got to me," he smirked. But he was right, I hadn't REALLY understood the Xena thing till I peeked at it from the straight guy's view point.

Xena is a teenage boy's wet dream, but just passable enough in the campy factor that us queers who are used to relying on subtext get a kick out of it. And the mere fact that this totally buff chick beats up gladiators and seems annoyed by the constant, swooning, admiration she gets from her male admirers makes the show a gem. If the plots were a bit stronger I might actually consider myself a fan.

jessamin@smug.com

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