May 1999 smoking jacket by Gregory Alkaitis-Carafelli |
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Leftovers of the Undiscovered Country:
In the beginning was the billboard, and in the future some predict
advertising will penetrate even dreams. But here in the present we
must be content with the happy medium: mere product placement, a viral
but not yet terminal infection. As early as 1996 the phrase "viral
marketing" appeared in the lexicons of Madison Avenue, and the quest
was begun via this insidious mechanism to subvert the mainstream,
promote the brand, and sell the prevailing attitude of the times --
via whatever product a firm was under contract to promote -- all with
a rapacious eye towards profit.
Early digital marketing pioneers Hotmail and ICQ quickly learned the
viral value of word-of-mouth, especially when the mouths had no say in
their complicity. Steve Jurvetson and Tim Draper in Business
2.0 note that "Hotmail grew a subscriber base more rapidly than
any company in the history of the world," using a technique whereby
"every outbound message" sent by the Hotmail service "conveyed an
advertisement and a subtle implied endorsement by the sender." Bob
Metcalfe, reflecting in a recent InfoWorld column on a
conversation with ICQ co-founder Joseph Vardi, just now realizes that
"not only is the ICQ service useful and fun, so you're doing your
buddies a favor by telling them about it, but the ICQ service is more
valuable to members if their buddies are also members. This is
contagion at its best."
But the marketing technique that online is just being fully realized,
traditional media has been using to best advantage for years. Sneaking
a brand, virus like, into every possible crevasse and chasm is nothing
new, especially in Hollywood; it is no surprise that Apple Computer
employs a full time staffer to handle nothing but product placement
coordination; and extravagant product-movie marriages like the recent
Levi-Mod Squad match-up are commonplace, almost tedious. (Not for
nothing did Mary Elizabeth Williams remark that the movie "often looks
like little more than a big-budget jeans ad.") Elsewhere, McDonald's,
in a shrill display of community service, has replaced basketball
backboards on North Philadelphia neighborhood courts with backboards
containing the McDonald's logo.
As is clear, much creative marketing work has already been done -- you
may be concerned there's nothing "new" left for your company, no
pioneering approach to set you apart from your competition. Yet! All
is not lost -- there are still avenues unexplored and marketing
opportunities unrealized in these oh so cynical times. A quick
brainstorm reveals these gems for secretly spreading your product's
holy word, offered free of charge or warranty:
Purchase time on 911 calls. Clinical research has shown the heightened
adrenaline and serotonin levels humans experience during a crisis
enhances memory -- making that call to 911 the perfect time to plug
your product! Spots should be limited to about twenty seconds for
maximum effectiveness, as they will be played before the audience
member is connected with the operator, and should contain an audio
hook (or "jingle") to help reinforce brand awareness and tie in with
your other media campaigns. Remember people who call 911 also watch
television and read magazines!
As a bonus, be sure to contractually guarantee with the local call
center that your ads won't be edited out of any 911 call recordings
that are aired by the press -- you can't afford to loose this valuable
potentially national brand exposure!
Purchase space on chair seats (restaurants, etc.). This marginalized
but vast real-estate is often overlooked by slow-thinking media buyers
focused on the negative short term. "People will be sitting on our
message." But don't forget they'll first be seeing and absorbing your
message! People get up and sit down countless times per day -- this is
an inexpensive road to brand impression riches you can't afford to let
pass by.
In a similar vein, why aren't you advertising your product on the back
of toilet stall doors and on urinal walls? The audience is captive and
the exposure total. (Print creative should be covered with a clear
plastic laminate to mitigate possible environmental damage that could
dilute your brand and send unfortunate associative messages.)
Purchase unused space on court summons, pleading papers, bench and
arrest warrants, subpoenas, motions, referrals, parking tickets and
other legal documents. Just think: distribution is already taken care
of, and in most cases by a dedicated workforce legally empowered and
required to get your message into consumer hands. Your tax dollars at
work! It's a no-brainer!
These are merely talking points to get your team started: remember to
always consult with legal counsel licensed to practice in the
jurisdiction you're planning on targeting before beginning an
"edgy" media campaign such as those outlined above. While
technological limitations still hamper extreme advertising, you should
always be thinking outside the box. After all, your competitors most
certainly are.
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