December 1998
s m u g
and such and such
by the staff

*

Two Years

This is the second anniversay edition of Smug. That's right, two years old and still here. We'd like to thank you, the readers, whether you read because you mock us or you read because you love us, for being here. As always, no one is sexier than you!

Bring it On?

It's that time of year again when we hold out our paws and ask for things we know we'll never get. In response to last year's wish list, we did receive two Christmas cards (super thanks to Todd's mom and the nice people at Vasu Lynch Funeral parlor!) so, we figure, we might as well ask and see what happens one more time. In the spirit of pure greed, we present the Smug staff holiday wish list:

(And don't forget the special Joe-only list from last month!)

  • Japanese Packaging
  • Wine glasses (the dixie cups will no longer cut it, Joe)
  • Lifetime subscription to your zine
  • Lifetime subscription to the "panty of the month" club
  • Photographs of you in the '70s (don't ask, just send!)
  • Record Service
  • Evel Knieval Lunchbox
  • Hello! Kitty plush toys (they're for Todd, don't ask)
  • Lawnmower bags
  • Leather doctor's bags (helps cut to front of line anywhere you go)
  • A robot
  • Fake mustaches
  • Survivalist manual
  • Alcohol
  • Depend Undergarments
  • Prescription meds
  • HTML slaves
  • "Interns"
  • Novelty back scratchers
  • Sunglasses (the fame, you know)
  • Love letters from you (they don't have to be to us, you know)
  • Recipe for potato part of Ouef Gamin
  • The cessation of all South Park references
  • Strawberry rhubarb jam
  • Large unmarked bills
  • Small unmarked bills
  • Any kind of appliance "cozy"
  • Your love!
  • An inherent sense of fashion
  • Record Service
  • Some band to record a song with our URL in it (hopefully a band we love, or your band)
  • Sonic Youth (not the records, the actual band)
  • A real life "Get Out of Jail Free" card (this one's for you, Josh!)
  • Diplomatic immunity (then you could skip the card)
  • Half
  • Life-size poster of Land O Lakes Girl

Mail these fine items to: Smug! c/o Leslie Harpold
707 Ninth Ave
4th floor
New York, NY
10019
and be sure to say who you'd like it to be given to or Leslie will keep it all to herself! (not that she's evil, she just really likes presents)

staff@smug.com

*

in the junk drawer:

featurecar
net
worth
chair
ac/dcgun
smoking
jacket
barcode
ear
candy
pie
feed
hollywood
lock
target
audience
scissors
back
issues
dice
compulsionvise
posedowncheese
the
biswick
files
toothbrush
mystery
date
wheelbarrow
and such
and such
hat
blabfan
kissing
booth
martini






     
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