My Swan Song

I'm not very good at being gay. Oh, I'm an excellent lover, mind you, but I can't fulfill one stereotype - I'm not even particularly tidy. I don't like show tunes, I don't have affected speech, and I'm not a snappy dresser. you'd think that my 32 years on the pink team would have left me with at least one mannerism of affectation that would help set me apart, but it hasn't.

So, I've been questioning my qualifications to comment here on gays in the media. Many of you have written to me to say that I'm too angry and of course, the sharpest knife you have said I am "no fun". I call this to your attention because in a fit of immaturity I am compelled to tell you that this is not why this will be my last column. I crave opposition, I like to wrankle feathers, and hate mail has kept me going strong the entire time this column has been mine. I'm sorry it has to end this way.

When this column was started no one was watching the way gays were portrayed in the media. I'd like to say that myself, Jesasamin before me, and Smug in general was responsible for the turnaround, but it happened on a much grander scale than that. Between John Ritter in Slingblade (good), and the Ellen coming out episode (bad hype, good point) others have picked up the torch. I'm not putting it down altogether, and I may be back periodically to comment on something particularly chafing or to commend something particularly amazing, but in the interim, I've got a book to write, a screenplay to finish and some drinks to make.

Leslie has asked me to remind you that now and always No One Is Sexier than You! but to be honest, I'm feeling pretty attractive myself these days. I'd just rather be on the receiving end of all this digital love for a little while as I, get My Act Together. Next month in this space, there's going to be a new column altogether, new subject, new title, so check back, because I've seen the first draft and it looks great. And thanks to all of you who've written, offered me work and asked me out. More thank you to those of you who cursed me out and called me names. To those of you I say "don't call me, I'll call you."

I have to go now, in preparation to become a Better Gay Man® I have a ballroom dancing lesson I have to get to.

willie@smug.com

in the junk drawer