February 1998 the biswick files by Sherman T. Biswick |
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I'm looking to buy a used car.
Can you offer any advice?
Dear Fanny,
I drove that car til '91 when my eye doctor told me I shouldn't drive down
to the VFW. I gave old Betsy to my grandson who install some fancy dice
and whatnot. The car finally gave out last year. The lesson in all this
is that despite what you may think, Fanny, the Ford LTD is a good car.
Otherwise police departments all across the country wouldn't buy so many
of them.
Is there really life on other planets? Should I worry about being abducted by aliens?
Dear Sam,
Most everybody thought Marvin was crazy. Come to find out, Marvin was
drinking after shave. Liquor was in short supply during the war and
Marvin's wife used to send him the stuff by the gallon. After some minor
distillation to remove harmful impurities, Marv got his alcohol Hai Karate
style.
There is a lesson to be learned here. As the Lord Jesus taught us -- in 1
Corinthians, I believe -- we shouldn't be drunketh with wine. Because if
you're drunk when the Lord returns during the rapture, you might mistake
Jesus for an alien. And that would be embarrassing for the both of you.
Do you exist?
Dear Tori,
Sincerely,
Sherman T. Biswick
in the junk drawer:
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·the biswick files·
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·and such and such·
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·fan club·
·junk drawer·
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