January 1998
s m u g
ear candy
by Matt Sager

R.I.P. Good Taste - ?-1997

It was a good year for Death Rock. No, not Slayer, not Morbid Angel. 1997 was the year that guranteed a number 1 smash to anyone who cared about the dead (as if anyone is actually in favor of people dying). Case in point: Elton John. Apparently convinced his original version of "Candle in the Wind" wasn’t sufficiently sappy, he had the lyrics rewritten to mourn the passing of his friend Princess Diana. Queen that he is, Elton has a soft spot for royalty. While no-one is exactly sure what made her so special, millions pined over the loss of Diana and payed tribute by snatching up every copy of this god-awful cover song. Really, it’s syrupy enough to make Celine Dion puke.

Still, that phenomenon was slightly less surprising than the staggering success of Puff Daddy’s "Missing You", a tribute to The Notorious B.I.G., Puff’s friend and fellow rapper gunned down earlier in the year. Who didn’t see that one coming? "Biggie" was a gangsta rapper in the truest sense - 3 years ago he was a professional crack salesman. His songs were about murder, sex and drugs. And death! Over his 3-year, 2-album career, close to half of his songs were about the reality that he knew he’d be killed, because he’d made too many enemies. In fact, his first record was called "Ready to Die", and his 2nd, released posthumously, had the unfortunate title "Life After Death". Still, rap fans were somehow shocked by his passing, and made Puff’s song, based around a sample of the "Every Breath You Take" by the Police, the top-selling song in the country. Sting even joined Puffy on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards to perform the song, where Puffy urged the audience to "Put yo hands in the air for Biggy!" Then, in a far tackier gesture, "Put yo hands in the air for Princess Diana!" I put my hands in the air for Sting’s hairline, but I don’t think anybody cared.

As a reward for helping us to better understand our pain through song, Elton is to be knighted by the Queen of England. Try not to swallow your tongue when you find you have to refer to a short, fat man in a tiara as "Sir". Puffy, for his part, has become the undisputed ruler of the rap community. His record dominates the charts, while every other rap act, rather than try to compete, collaborates with him, using him on their albums as either an artist or a producer. Some simply put Puffy in their video, with no purpose other than to give themselves a slice of credibility. Quick, someone write a song in loving memory of my lunch; I’m afraid I’ve lost it.

*


matt@smug.com

in the junk drawer:

November 1997
October 1997
September 1997
August 1997
July 1997
June 1997
May 1997
April 1997
March 1997
February 1997
January 1997

featurecar
net
worth
chair
bumping
uglies
gun
smoking
jacket
barcode
ear
candy
pie
feed
hollywood
lock
target
audience
scissors
three
dollar
bill
dice
compulsionvise
posedowncheese
the
biswick
files
toothbrush
mystery
date
wheelbarrow
and such
and such
hat
blabfan
kissing
booth
martini






     
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